Plan C and the worst timing ever
Last week Griffin took a big leap, literally. He crawled out of his crib for the first time ever. It was a Thursday, we had a wonderful morning at the zoo, had lunch and I drove home ASAP to get him settled for his nap. All went according to plan, we read our books, turned the lights off, talked about the zoo while he snuggled. Then I picked him up, tucked him in and told him I would come get him when nap time was done. He fell asleep quickly and I sat down in our office to get some computer work done and straighten out some COBRA insurance issues we have been having. Forty five minutes later he wakes up and calls for me, I go in to check on him and tell him nap time is not over yet, tuck him in and left the room. I sat in the living room and hear his door open and the pitter patter of little feet, he walked to the doorway of the living room and peeked out at me. His little face looked unsure but also proud and he told me, "momma my foot hurt" and crawled in my lap. I was sure at this moment, life as I knew it was over, that we were about to embark on something I wasn't ready for, and I internally I started to cry. We put a movie on and snuggled on the couch while he told me he had hurt his foot crawling out of his crib. I called Sean, we decided to covert his crib that night to a toddler bed so he wouldn't hurt himself and go from there. He was pretty tired that night and went to bed fine, but then woke up an hour later and ended up sleeping (terribly) with us the rest of the night.
The next day I was pretty anxious about nap time, mostly because he never WANTS to take a nap, I mean why would any two year old want to stop playing and sleep? But, he needs a nap, the kiddo goes non stop and if he doesn't take a nap, by about 3pm he's a total nightmare. An over tired, biting, hitting, yelling, tantrum throwing nightmare. It's hard to see him be out of control like that and even harder to deal with at 38 weeks pregnant. So nap time came, we stuck to our regular routine and got nowhere fast. He popped out of his bed, opened the door and said he wasn't going to "nigh nigh". I put him back in bed, kissed him and closed his door. Then he cried, and cried, and screamed, and cried until he finally fell asleep in his reading corner. All the while I'm sitting outside his room, feeling like a failure as a mom, crying because he's so incredibly upset and texting Sean for help! I'm obviously going about this the wrong way, what are we going to do? I'm 2 weeks away from caring for two, this is not going to work! The next three days went just like this and I was teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown and Griffin was flat out exhausted.
So I did a little reading to get some tips from other parents and ultimately tried to tackle this with more of a RIE parenting approach. We called it "plan C" because clearly plans A and B crashed and burned! I tried to think about it from his perspective, all of a sudden he has this new found freedom, which in many ways is totally awesome but also really scary for him. In one of his crying episodes for his nap I heard him say "I don't want a big boy bed, I want a nursery bed!". Yet he would still crawl out of his crib when we tried to put the crib rail back on. He wanted the comfort of his crib, the routine and familiarness of it all, but he also knew he could get out...so I did what any desperate mom would do...I took advantage of cheap overnight shipping on Amazon and ordered him a rail that would convert his crib to a toddler bed and a nap/nighttime owl that would be a comfort for him in this transition. I realized that even though he had the freedom he wasn't really ready for what that meant, kinda like when you go off to college and still come home every weekend to do laundry. :) Freedom is great, but adjusting to that freedom takes some time. So after lots of conversations about how it WAS scary to have a toddler bed, and that it was OK to be scared, and that Mommy and Daddy were going to be there to help him learn how to sleep in his new bed...we did it! I installed the rail, programmed the nighttime owl (it glows a certain color when its time to get up from his nap or in the morning and plays soft music to help comfort him back to sleep) and got him a new pair of construction themed PJ's to be cozy for his first night of sleep in his converted bed. We also talked a lot about how he would be able to get in out and safely and he couldn't hurt himself anymore, that it was a cozy bed just for him. He did great, in the morning we gave so many extra hugs and kisses and talked more about how it was hard at first but he did it! His nap the next day only required me to go in once and put him back in his bed, and guess what? He slept for 2.5 hrs! This transition has been good, I'm glad we could work on it before the baby came, and I know we are not out of the woods yet, but I am so proud of him.
I was hoping he wouldn't crawl out of the crib until much later, mostly because it was going to be enough of a transition for him when the baby came, let alone a new bed, and it was terrible timing, but that's life right! One thing I did learn was that a solid, consistent, loving bedtime ritual made this so much easier! Sean and I are pretty adamant about nap-time and bedtime being consistent because we see how it effects Griffin (and us) when we don't adhere to a strict schedule. But that schedule and routine has made the difference because we don't have to reinvent the wheel with this new bedtime stuff, just tackle the bed issue. So here we are, day 4 and he is doing great! Fist pump!!!! What else did I learn? The more I approach our day to day issues with kindness and respect for Griffin, the easier things get. Taking a deep breath (or two), understanding his feelings and why he's having them, communicating those feelings with him like, "that must have been scary for you!"and "its hard to sleep in a new bed, Mommy is here to help you feel safe and help you learn how to do it" made ALL the difference. He just needed me to acknowledge him and how he was dealing with the change, not get upset because he wasn't following directions or not listening to me.
I remember when I thought caring for a newborn was hard. I'm thankful that you get to learn how to be a parent in baby steps, I mean, could you imagine birthing a two year old? On a side note, the same week this happened Griffin was also going through what I assumed to be a "toddler wonder week". He was so difficult, defiant, aggressive and challenging. Then all of a sudden he crawled out of his crib and starting talking to me in the most complex sentences with the most amazing thought process. That brain of his is growing in leaps and bounds! For every tantrum and limit pushing behavior he has, we get a hug or a kiss or get to see him figure out how to use his balance bike. Such a fun and challenging age and even with all of the frustration lately, I know I'm going to miss this stage so much! Good thing we get to do it all over again soon :)
I was hoping he wouldn't crawl out of the crib until much later, mostly because it was going to be enough of a transition for him when the baby came, let alone a new bed, and it was terrible timing, but that's life right! One thing I did learn was that a solid, consistent, loving bedtime ritual made this so much easier! Sean and I are pretty adamant about nap-time and bedtime being consistent because we see how it effects Griffin (and us) when we don't adhere to a strict schedule. But that schedule and routine has made the difference because we don't have to reinvent the wheel with this new bedtime stuff, just tackle the bed issue. So here we are, day 4 and he is doing great! Fist pump!!!! What else did I learn? The more I approach our day to day issues with kindness and respect for Griffin, the easier things get. Taking a deep breath (or two), understanding his feelings and why he's having them, communicating those feelings with him like, "that must have been scary for you!"and "its hard to sleep in a new bed, Mommy is here to help you feel safe and help you learn how to do it" made ALL the difference. He just needed me to acknowledge him and how he was dealing with the change, not get upset because he wasn't following directions or not listening to me.
I remember when I thought caring for a newborn was hard. I'm thankful that you get to learn how to be a parent in baby steps, I mean, could you imagine birthing a two year old? On a side note, the same week this happened Griffin was also going through what I assumed to be a "toddler wonder week". He was so difficult, defiant, aggressive and challenging. Then all of a sudden he crawled out of his crib and starting talking to me in the most complex sentences with the most amazing thought process. That brain of his is growing in leaps and bounds! For every tantrum and limit pushing behavior he has, we get a hug or a kiss or get to see him figure out how to use his balance bike. Such a fun and challenging age and even with all of the frustration lately, I know I'm going to miss this stage so much! Good thing we get to do it all over again soon :)
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